10 Profanity-Laden Products You’ll Want To Hide From The Kids


 

These are f*cking great!

We give a lot of f*cks to everything we sell here at Shut Up and Take My Money and we’d like to share some of it to you. Just make sure that the kids aren’t looking… This is about to get nasty.

Explicit Grammar Mug

Some people just couldn’t say anything right. If you know someone who always makes these basic grammatical errors, it’s time to give them this mug. Because you f*cking care.

Give them a piece of your mind. Buy this damn mug already.

Baby Up In This B*tch Decal

Tired of hearing car horns honking at you while you’re driving? This sticker is probably for you. We don’t really know too many people who will keep buzzing at a car with a baby in it. Haters gonna hate.

Secure the b*tch’s baby by getting this decal from Amazon.

Oh Sh*t Not You Again Doormat

This is for your neighbor whose dog pisses on your lawn (or the f*cking dog itself who can’t understand this but will still pee on this) or that mailman who peeps inside your house just because he can. Just let them know that you don’t want them there — in bold and all caps.

Make sure the bugger knows he/she isn’t welcome. Plant this mat on your doorstep now.

How To Swear Around The World Book

Ever hated someone so bad you’d like to curse them for the rest of their existence? Well, you’re in luck! Master the craft of hating without getting understood that you’re hating with this book. Beat the living sh*t out of someone else’s sanity by blabbering profanity that sounds like utter gibberish. Except that they don’t know how hurtful those words are.

Become a vulgar genius courtesy of Amazon.

F*ck Off Sleep Mask

You miss sleeping and don’t want to be bothered at all on some days. The naughty partner could ruin everything by trying to turn you on the wrong way. Those restless days are over thanks to this sleep mask. Get that much needed beauty rest without having to worry about anything else.

Be the boss of your own sleep. Get this from Amazon already.

Sure F*ck Cologne

Wanna get laid tonight? You’re a very lucky guy! We got that liquid that’s fluid no one’s gonna remember that you’re timid! No talent in picking up ladies? Don’t be left behind by your homies! Sure F*ck cologne will definitely get you f*cked up… the right way.

Get that swag to help you shag. Amazon still has tons of this for ya.

Chocolate Prank: The “Eat Poop/Sh*t” Box

We all have that friend or family member who just ransacks the fridge and blatantly consumes what’s inside it that isn’t even theirs to begin with. Then there’s also that neighbor whose dog just sh*ts at your lawn and they don’t even bother picking it up. Payback’s a b*tch. These delicious chocolates could ruin someone else’s day before it even begins. Perfect as a gift and a prank tool at the same time.

We’d love to see their faces when they open this. The guys from dickatyourdoor are pretty nasty geniuses.

Creative Cursing Game

Do you know what’s better than cursing? Mixing and matching them to create weirder means of profanity! Become the dirtiest player in the game by getting acquainted with this profanity generator. We’re not sure if this is best played with the family because we don’t want you to hate each other once everything’s and done… but then again, don’t you just wish you could call your dad an ass waffle sometimes?

Become socially unacceptable by getting this from Amazon.

I Literally Don’t Give A F*ck Mug

Want someone to know how many f*cks you’ve given to what they’re doing? Be nice enough and make a coffee on this mug before handing it out to them. There’s nothing wrong about caring before cursing. Who knows? That might be the last time you’d be making a drink for that person.

Give no f*cks but give this mug from Etsy.

Queen Of Everything Mug

Let people know who’s the real boss. Drink like Cleopatra with this damn mug while you wear a scumbag smug. After all, queens get to do what they want. Bow down, b*tches.

Be the ultimate queen of f*cking everything by getting this mug from Amazon.

Pardon our French for this post but you have to admit, you loved the idea of shedding some insanity through profanity. Don’t be a hypocrite — just do it. Just f*cking swear… that you’ll get yourself these f*cking cool stuff.

 

 

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